The alarm goes off at 4am for Keith to get ready for his usual Sunday morning job but I have been awake since 3 o’clock. Keith is exhausted. Last night he complained of a stomach upset but now he says he is a bit better. He goes off, very subdued and I go back to bed, worrying about him. He is a tower of support for me but I worry that all this is taking its toll on him too. At seven o’clock, I still can’t sleep so I get up and get ready to take Paddy for a long, much-deserved walk. It’s peaceful and I feel better for getting out in the fresh air.
I am amazed at how the time flies by, unnoticed by me, absorbed as I am by my own thoughts.
Kathy has asked me to look for some photos of Hugh growing up as she wants to do a presentation of photos to be shown in the background at the refreshments after the funeral. I root out all my photo albums and begin the search. I remember that, after Hugh’s birth, my camera broke so I have very few photos of him as a baby but, as I flick through the albums, I relive his childhood, remembering long-forgotten incidents. He was never an easy child, very intelligent but also strong willed and we had many clashes.
Kathy has also asked me to choose some readings for the Mass and I find it comforting to do this. I email it all to her.