My stomach is in knots today. Tomorrow, the day of the funeral, will be difficult and all the more difficult because of family issues. Kathy rings to say that some of the army people are arriving today for a rehearsal in the church at 2 o’clock. Nearly all the preparations are complete now. All we can do is wait for tomorrow.
I take out my black trouser suit and check that we have everything we need.
At 12.15 I go to the hairdressers. It seems incongruous but I want to look my best for Hugh. The hairdresser chats about unimportant things and I respond as if everything is fine. It seems like another me, sitting there in the salon, smiling and looking cheerful.
In the evening, I check Hugh’s Facebook page for an update of tributes from his friends, as I have done every day and the tears come again.