I am his mother. Mothers are meant to protect and help their children. Why couldn't I do that? How did I not know the state of mind he was in?
The funeral was on what would have been his 30th birthday. In between is my birthday. I wasn't very enamoured of birthdays anyway but now, I count it a blessing if I can get through the day without any mention of it. I know it's not very logical, but I don't welcome cards and certainly not presents and this seems to be difficult for some people to understand. One friend even fell out with me over it, but while I don't wish to hurt anyone's feelings, I am hanging on to the right to deal with these few weeks of the year as I wish.
No cards, no presents, no flowers ... please.